A Nice Place To Visit ... Songtext / Lyric

i take a look around

think of places i have been

there really aren't that many

i would like to see again

i've been to 30

8 of 50 states

most of them i'd shut down

3 or 4 of them are great

back on the east coast

dc's a little shit hole

you'll freeze to death in jersey

but florida's the best

i think i would rather have

prostate cancer

than visit oklahomo

it's those sooners i detest

when i see the coast

i'm at home at last

take the lincoln monument

and cram it up your ass

jmfc a giant ball of yarn

dont forget to see the thing

when your on your way to yuma

koa is a ok

but they ain't got no shoney's

i love turquoise

and shells of abalone

testicular tumors

sound so much nicer

than seeing dollywood

in the hills of tennsessee

sentence me to life

in a tijuana prison

i don't really care

feed doritos to the bears

fireworks here and there

california is for me

mississi (fart) i

zillions of mosquitoes are

gnawing on my thigh

i really love antiquing

i bought some decoy ducks

in some states your sister

is the only one you fuck

the nascar whores of north carolina

with ovarian cysts

the size of missouri

do yourself a favor and

stay in california

goodbye.