R.V. Songtext / Lyric

Backside melts into a sofa

My world, my TV, and my food

Besides listening to my belly gurgle

Ain't much else to do

Yeah, I sweat a lot

Pants fall down every time I bend over

And my feet itch

Yeah, I married a scarecrow



I hate you

Talking to myself

Everibody's starin' at me

I'm only bleedin'



Someone taps me on the shoulder every 5 minutes

Nobody speaks English anymore

Would anybody tell me I was gettin' stupider?



I hate you

Talking to myself

You don't feel it after awhile

You take the beating






I'm a swingin' guy

Throw a belt over the shower curtain rod

And swing

Toss me inside a Hefty

And put me in the ground

A drink needs me

I don't

I ain't about to guzzle no tears

so kiss my ass

Newscasters, coakroaches, and desserts



I hate you

Talkin' to myself

Everibody's starin' at me

I'm only bleedin'



Where are the kids?

maybe pregnant or on drugs

or on welfare on top of the world

on the honor roll on parole on the Dodgers

on the back of milk cartons on stakes

in the middle of corn fields

on covers of future history books

on old lady's mantles walkin' on water nailed on crosses

I think it's time I had a talk with my kids

I'll just tell 'em what my daddy told me

YOU AIN'T NEVER GONNA AMOUNT TO NOTHIN'