Girls! Girls! Girls! Songtext / Lyric

Step right up

We bring to you the finest entertainment

And I would be pleased to be your humble servant

Accept your hospitality, indulge in abnormality



Step right up

We've something here for everyone's enjoyment

I do this as a gift, not for employment

A portrait of insanity, approach with your humanity



Come see our girls, crazy girls

If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride

Those girls, crazy girls

They're hot, they're nuts, they're suicidal

Tickets cheap, it's a crime

And they're half off after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dime

To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time

Come see the girls, girls, girls






Some of them are really quite attractive as you see

Some are truly hideous, I'm sure that you'll agree

While others still look rather quite a lot like you and me

But you mustn't let them fool you, just one more rule



You shouldn't look this one too long in the eye

And that one, let's just keep walking by

These ain't no ordinary girls, and we've a steady supply

Grab another cup of tea, and follow me



To see our girls, crazy girls

If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride

Those girls, crazy girls

They're hot, they're nuts, they're suicidal

Tickets cheap, it's a crime

And they're half off after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dime

To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time

Come see the girls, girls, girls



Now, has anybody any clever questions for your guide

For a penny more, go on and ask, we have nothing here to hide.



Quiet down! You sir

If insanity's primarily a femininish malady,

And no one's doubting that for it's a scientific fact,

Then according to the medics, are they faultier genetics?

Are they born with this disease, or is it something they contract?



It has all to do with reproductive organs

Which are naturally unstable in a dame

You see from lunar, we have lunatic, and lunacy, and loony

And they're always ovulating by the cycle of the moony



I have a question

Has any patient ever been released

Would you send her home if her bizarre behavior would decrease?

For the good of our society, they aren't to reproduce

So while they may pretend propriety, we'll never let them loose



Come see the girls, crazy girls

If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride

Those girls, crazy girls

They're hot, they're nuts, they're suicidal

Tickets cheap, it's a crime

And they're half off after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dime

To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time

Come see the girls, girls, girls



Some are born mad

Some achieve madness

Some have madness thrust upon them

This is the real thing my friends, 100 percent, authentic, mentally-ill

Except just for substitutions

For a little extra on the side, you can arrange

For a slightly more intimate encounter, wink wink

For a tuppence, just a tuppence, a handful of pills to feed the inmates

We've got pills for depression, oppression, repression, manic depression

But there's a pill for everything these days



How big is a lady's brain?

It's really very, very small, a simple thought is quite a strain

This seems just a bit inhumane

It's just a simple little shock, it doesn't cause her any pain



They're really more like animals than people

Which haven't proven having any souls at all.

The only bits that aren't inferior are bosom and posterior

And these are only useful in a seedy music hall



They don't bite, well she might

I say this one does look hungry tonight

So get your picture with an inmate

But be sure she's locked up tight



They're practically wild sir

Protect your child sir

They can't recall the taste of freedom

They're just happy if we feed them



So point and laugh, it isn't bad

They oughtn't mind because they're mad!

If you haven't got a dime, toss us your pearls

You're welcome to enjoy



Our girls, crazy girls

If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride

Those girls, crazy girls

They're hot, they're nuts, they're suicidal

Tickets cheap, it's a crime

And they're half price after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dime

To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time



I've got a lot more words to say, but I just can't make them rhyme

So ladies, let this be a lesson to you, keep your hair uncut

Your corsets tight, your morals high

Your knitting neat, your yappers shut

This is what comes of over-educating,

mentally over-stimulating,

too much serious conversating,

organized religion-hating,

sinful over-copulating,

marriage without pro-creating,

girl-on-girl caught lesbiating,

she was caught while masturbating,

they all mind manipulating,

chronically hallucinating,

certainly there's no debating,

some we just find fascinating,

women's rights facilitating,

independent thought creating,

she just may be complicating,

get your money out we're waiting



To see those

Girls!

Girls!

Girls!