Harry Freakin' Potter Songtext / Lyric

<Dialogue> [Ron:]

You're Harry Freakin' Potter!
You don't understand you're a legend, man, to us all
Every son and daughter's safe from You-Know-Who, all because of you
You were small, but I wonder if you can recall [Ron:]

Long story short, this guy, Voldemort, was super-cruel

[Harry:]

"Voldemort?"
[Kids:]

-"Shhh!"

[Ron:]

He tried to kill you and your parents and this is where it gets intensely cool
Even though you were a tiny little boy
You should have died, but you survived and then destroyed
This evil guy and it's a story we enjoy to tell

[Kids:]

You're Harry Freakin' Potter!
We don't prefer Gandalf, Merlin, or Oz
You're a whole lot hotter
With that lightning scar you're a superstar to us all
If we're in trouble, we know who to call

[Rita:]

"Did somebody say Harry Potter? Rita Skeeter here from the Daily Prophet reporting to you live, dear readers, from platform nine and three-quarters, where I just happened upon the original Wizkid himself, Harry Potter, the lad who lived. Now, let's you and me get on the level, HP: Where have you been for ten years? Are you excited to go to Hogwarts? Are you frightened for your life?"

[Harry:]

"Why would I be frightened for my life?"

[Rita:]

"Well, ain't you cock-sure! Know this, dear readers: HP, the eleven-year-old titan shows no fear, even in the face of a murderous dog like Sirius Black!"

[Harry:]

"Who's Sirius Black?"

[Rita:]

"Who's Sirius Black?! You don't know? He used to be your dad's best friend until he betrayed him to the Dark Lord and got him killed. Yep, turns out he was a Death Eater. He killed thirteen ducks before the caught him, and I mean people. He hates your guts, wants you dead, he just escaped from Azkaban, but it's no skin-off your back, kid, you know why?"

[Rita:]

You're Harry Freakin' Potter!
I wouldn't wince at all, you're invincible from all harm
Like Betty Crocker, ooh, I wanna eat you up
No one'll beat you up with that charm
Remember, Harry, kid, you're the boss, you're the king, you're da bomb!

[Rita:]

(Keep your nose clean, kid, don't take any wooden sickles)

[Woman:]

"All aboard!"

[Mrs. Weasley:]

"Goodbye, kids, I love you. Be safe!"

[Harry:]

"Ron, what's going on? This is just so all - it's unreal!"

[Ron:]

"No, it's not. You're Harry Potter! You're the coolest, goddamn kid in the entire world. Everything's awesome for you, so you better get used to it."

[Harry:]

But this is all so sad, I mean my mom and dad got killed long ago

[Kids:]

(Long ago they died)

[Harry:]

I wanna be psyched but being unliked is all I know

[Kids:]

(All he knows, that's why)

[Harry:]

I never thought I'd be a part of such a fate
An opportunity eleven years late
I guess it's time for me to step up to the plate
And show 'em that I'm something great!

[Harry:]

I'm Harry Freakin' Potter!
I'll do what I can if what you say I am is true
I can't be bothered by my awful past
I've found at last something I can do
So it's time I knew exactly who I am

[Harry:]

I'm Harry Freakin' Potter!

[Kids:]

(You're Harry Freakin' Potter!)
(You're Harry Freakin' Potter!)

[Harry:]

I'm the man!

[Everybody:]

Harry Freakin' Potter!!!